Ask Lily
by keykeeper11
Summary: Lily Evans starts an advice column for the Gryffindor house, and James Potter is... persistant. Oneshot.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of this - it's all owned by the most brilliant JKR.

**Author's Note:** I'm not horribly pleased with this one shot. But, it's not that bad, right? I know it's rather fluffy... and not that great of a plot. -wince- I debated putting it up on here, but I've had it stored in my computer for months, unfinished. It drove me crazy so I finished it off today - my heart isn't necessarily in it. So, I apologize. But you win some you lose some, yeah?

**Ask Lily: **_One-shot._

_Can you fix my problem?_

-----

Lily's hand flew across the yellowing parchment in front of her (really, she couldn't even begin to imagine why it was yellow - she'd only just had it owled to her from Flourish and Blotts a week ago!).

She quickly dragged her hand across the page and started a new line, eyes practically shining. She really didn't know what had provoked her to start this 'Advice Column' for Gryffindor, but all of her friends had always been telling her that she was good at giving advice, so it was their fault, really.

The sixth year girl let out an indignant snort as she read the next advice-seeker's question:

_Dear Lily, _

_My best friend just slept with my boyfriend - what should I do?_

_Yours truly,_

_Troubled_

Who the hell wrote that kind of stuff? Or rather, who the hell _did_ that kind of stuff?

Rubbing her eyes tiredly, thinking that it must be some stupid Hufflepuff that had somehow found her advice column, she vanished it with a flick of the wand . Okay, she wasn't the _best_ advice giver; all in all Lily was a bit rough around the edges, but it worked.

Lily pulled up the next piece of parchment, read the first line (well, there really was only _one_) and immediately vanished it.

_Evans, go out with me? _

_- Potter_

The one trouble with Lily's advice column was a certain James Potter. She got about five of these letters a day - a _day!_ It really was getting rather obnoxious...

"Thank Potter for thinking up the craziest ideas to ask me out," she muttered, " - oh Merlin!"

Rifling through the next ten stacks of letters, Lily found that they were all from James. Really, could the boy get _anymore_ obsessive?

"Potter, you are bloody insane..." she growled, biting the end of her quill and filing the letters away; she'd finish them tomorrow.

"And why am I insane, Red?" As if on cue, the very James Potter himself rolled over the top of the couch in the Gryffindor Common Room and came to rest beside Lily.

"Um, does _this_ ring a bell?!" Lily grabbed one of the many 'advice-seeking' letters that James had sent to her. She attempted to tone her voice down to his deep level as she read: "_Evans, go out with me?_"

Smirking, James ruffled his hair and nodded at the piece of paper, "Well, _will you_?"

Lily merely glared at him, grabbed the quill from the coffee table in front of her (the end of it was wet from where she chewed) and scribbled one simple two-lettered word over his question.

"How about NO?"

"Ah, you'll come around, Evans; all in good time, all in good time..." And with that, he flipped back over the top of the couch with a loud, _oomph_ and a _thud_ and ran up into the boys' dormitory, winking at Lily, but rubbing his head at the same time.

-----

"Lily, why don't you just tell him 'yes' this time... you know, just to see what happens?" It was another breakfast at the Great Hall and Lily's friend Nikki had suggested this absolutely disturbing idea (or, at least it was disturbing to Lily...).

"Just tell him yes? JUST TELL HIM YES? Nikki, are you feeling ill?" Lily pressed her hand up to her friend's forehead in a mocking manner.

"It was only a suggestion..." her friend mumbled, staring down at her bacon and eggs, hoping the subject would end. Sadly, Lily Evans _never_ gave up.

"I mean, just think about it, Nikki! Saying yes to him would be giving up on all of these past years, in which I have insulted him, and absolutely despised him - what would people think? And, it's not like I even _like him_. It would be a completely, absurd, _unhealthy_ relationship - do you see the point I'm trying to make?"

Nikki's mouth opened a little, but she didn't say anything in response, only sighed.

"Good," Lily stated proudly. "I'm glad we're mutually agreeing on this, and now we won't have to bring the subject up again."

The fellow Gryffindor only nodded.

Lily yawned slowly, and picked up her bag. "Well, it's off to Defense Against the Dark Arts with me, see you later, Nikki!" And with that, the red head had scurried off to the dark classroom in which she, most unfortunately, was forced to sit at the same table as the particular male she had just been talking about; James Potter.

"Evans," James said, resisting a smirk as he held back laughter; Lily merely glared in his general direction as she swung her bag across the back of her chair. "How's it going?" he giggled.

"Things were fine until I walked into this classroom," she sighed, " And yourself?"

"Hehe...likewise, Evans. But, maybe you should check your seat before you sit down in it..."

"And _what _may I ask, are you talking about?"

"Just look," he grinned, raising his eyebrows in a handsome manner.

Lily rolled her eyes, "Whatever the _hell_ you're talking about – OH MY GOD. GUM, ON MY BUTT - GUM _ON MY BUTT!_" The Head Girl swore rather loudly as she inspected the blob of pink, Drooble's Best Chewing Gum that was just recently stuck on her wooden seat; unfortunately now, however, it was on the fabric of her skirt. Her eyes turned murderous, and she rounded on James.

"Hey, hey, take it easy, Evans. _Sirius_ was the one that told me to do it!" he sniggered, high-fiving is Marauder companion.

This time, Lily whipped out her wand and hit Sirius over the head with it, making sparks fly out.

But, unfortunately, hitting Sirius wouldn't simply couldn't undo the fact that she had gum stuck on her arse that wouldn't come off (and which was somehow growing so that it was covering her entire rear-end), and now, people were starting to take notice; Slytherins.

"Hey, look what the mudblood has on her butt! Why didn't _I _think of that?" Severus Snape chanted, smoothing over his gob of greasy hair.

Lily's eyes got wide with fear as they started pulling at the hem of her skirt and calling her even more horrible names. The look she gave James was one of pure terror, and she flew out of the classroom just as the professor was coming in. He called out to her, but she ignored him and sprinted down the hallway.

James turned to Sirius, "You fucking prat - look what happened! You're lucky she got out unscathed!" He put his head in his hands. "Merlin, now she probably hates me."

"Don't blame it on me, Prongs, you're the one that went along with it," Sirius' eyes had turned dark and he shook his shaggy dark hair out of his eyes in annoyance.

James gave him a disgusted look and stormed out of the classroom; he was going to find Lily, and he had a pretty good idea of where she would go, the library.

He found her sitting behind one of the book shelves, her arms wrapped around her legs and hugging them to herself. She sucked on her bottom lip and sighed as a rush of October cold air came in from the open window, blowing her mop of fire around.

He stared at her from behind the bookcase and then sank down onto the floor to sit with her.

"Er, y'okay?" James said awkwardly, picking a book out of the shelf and thumbing through it.

Lily turned her head slowly, and her expression was completely angry, it even frightened James.

"... Lily?" he whispered. This time, she didn't even turn her head at all, she just put her head in her hands. Fortunately, she wasn't crying; her breathing came out even.

She withdrew from her cocoon and finally spoke, "You really want to go out with me, Potter? I doubt it, because if you really did you wouldn't let Sirius talk crap about me, or do what he tells you. If you _really_ wanted me to say yes, you'd stand up for me."

James ran a hand through his hair and sighed, he cupped her face. "I stood up for you back there; I told off Sirius. And then, I came and found you - how can you think that I don't care?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Were you or were you not in the same classroom as I was nearly ten minutes ago? Why didn't you help then?"

"Because I knew you'd cry out indignantly and tell me to shove off. And I _did_ warn you. I told you to check your seat!"

She winced, James was pretty much right.

"I..."

He scowled. "Whatever. I try to do something nice, but then you just blow up in my face. It's useless."

"Potter..."

"Go talk to me when you've got that gum off your butt," he snapped.

She stared at him, shocked. Had he just told _her_ off?

"Sometimes... sometimes you really annoy me, Evans."

"Yeah well sometimes - no wait - you _always_ annoy me,"

"Yeah - well..." He scratched his head, contemplating. "Well I'm out of here,"

"Ja - " she started, but then sighed. There was no use. Potter was just as stubborn as she was.

She slowly pulled herself up and trudged out of the library, not sure where to go. She saw no point in going back to class, so Lily went to Gryffindor Tower and found a stack of mail waiting for her. She picked up the first letter and ripped it open:

_Dear Lily, _

_There's this girl. She's attractive, smart - has many good qualities. But she becomes irritated easily, comes across as a perfectionist, stubborn, short tempered and can't stand being around me most days._ _Today something not-so-great happened to her, and she rounded on me, blaming me for not stopping it. But even if I had, she probably would've been upset. I don't understand it._

_Why does she always have to act like this? Any advice to the inside mind of a girl? _

_Always yours,_

_Confused_

Lily eyes widened. Of course this letter had to be from James, right? She smiled slightly. Although this way of getting her attention was horribly cheesy..., she also felt that it was sweet, and a wave of guilt washed over her for biting his head off. So she wrote back.

_Dear Confused,_

_I'm sorry, Potter. I can't really explain, but please accept my apology. You're not really... that bad. I just have a short temper, and you try my patience a lot. _

_- LE_

She sighed contently as the letter was sent off, but sucked her lip into her mouth. Apologizing to James Potter was... awkward. Different. And, she had to admit, it was definitely hard to succumb to cold turkey after all these years of telling him off.

-----

"Did you get the gum off?"

The redhead looked up to see James standing in front of the fire, looking down at her. The illuminations coming from the flames made him look furious. She hoped he wasn't.

"Obviously,"

He blushed and sat down next to her. "Er..."

She looked up again, slightly annoyed. "Yes? Oh... and did you get my message?"

"Huh?"

"Y'know... you mailed me one of those '_Dear Lily_' things..."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "No... I didn't..."

"But - " She watched his bemused expression and paled. "Oh, Merlin..."

A wide grin spread across James's face. "You did something stupid, didn't you?"

"Er... define stupid?"

"Haha,"

Lily rolled her eyes. "It's your fault anyways..."

"My fault? How is it my fault? And _why_ is it always _my fault_?"

"Because you're a great big arse!" she said, gently hitting him in the chest. He caught her hand after the third time and yanked her towards him.

"It takes an arse to know one!" he breathed, hazel eyes gleaming at her closeness.

"Whatever," she replied, struggling to get out of his grasp as she pulled away. "I'm going to bed."

"Night, _Evans_," he said, flashing a smile.

"Yep,"

The minute she disappeared up the staircase, James patted his pocket and grinned. He reached into it, pulling out a folded piece of paper with loopy script written on it.

... _and you try my patience a lot._

_- LE_

"Oh, Lily... so naive."

-----

And a month later, Lily even surprised herself wrote back to one of his many letters.

_Lily, want to go to Hogsmeade?_

_- James_

Instead of replying 'no', she wrote a simple '_yes_'. That was the last "_Ask Lily_" letter that the red head wrote.

-----

**A/N:** Hehe... that was slightly fluffy (the ending) I s'pose. And, I know, it just sort of... ends. Sorry, I have troubles finishing my stories sometimes. -sigh- Review!


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